I’ve had a handful of conversations with young people in SDE spaces on topics most folks would find taboo. Recently, I’ve been talking regularly with them on such topics as gender identity, sex and sexuality, wealth, power, and poverty. It might start with something as simple as a comment calling someone a girl who is nonbinary or it might come from driving around our city seeing folks who are unhoused.

I have never been a parent, never donned that coat of responsibility. But I know from our cultural matrix that parents are the most influential people on their children’s beliefs, political, religious, or otherwise, in mimicry or defiance. This influence can come with parental awareness and enforcement, or by sheer modeling lifestyles and decisions. 

In conversations with young people on “taboo topics,” I treasure that I do not bear such influence on the young peoples’ ideals. I treasure that I rarely play a role in what they should or should not believe. I treasure the questions many folks would cringe at, like “what do you do if you like someone?” And turning it around with more questions like, “how does your body feel when you talk to that person? Do you feel comfortable and happy or tense and uneasy? Listen to that.” 

I treasure my seat as the curious observer, prodding for their own self knowledge to bloom forth. So when this conversation started between two young folks lunching beside me on the porch one afternoon, I sat into my favorite position and listened gladly.

“Do you believe in god?”

“Not really, do you?”

“No, but my dad does, so sometimes I say I do. You know, for him.”

“Yea, yea, I get that. How about the tooth fairy?”

“Definitely fake too.”

“Tooooootally.”

“But, (sigh), Dad still believes.”

“Does he really?”

“Well if he doesn’t, mom just gives me lots of money just cause.”

They both laughed breathlessly into the yard and caught my eyes smiling their way. I treasure these moments of being let in on their inner worlds, trusting them to guide how they may.